San Francisco Times

May 14 2018 15:17:01

The SFU campus grounds became the tragic scene of a double suicide, this Sunday evening. Two students, both male, took their own life after having broken in to a laboratory building. The SFPD is investigating the possible motives of the duo, but at this moment little is known about the reasons the men had for taking their own life. The university board has issued condolences to the families and loved ones of the men, and has cut short all ongoing events at the campus grounds immediately.

September 18 2017 11:50:14

Downtown San Francisco was rocked by a huge gas explosion, Saturday night. The catastrophic event instantly levelled a city block in the Mission district, and started fires that rapidly consumed neighboring buildings. The fire department and police force were out in large numbers, but were initially overwhelmed by the size of the calamity. "I've never seen anything like this", one firefighter told this reporter. "I swear it's like a bomb went off here."

The mayor was in the scene shortly after the explosion, to comfort survivors and oversee the relief effort. "This is a dark day in the history of this magnificent city. We grief for those we lost, with their families and their loved ones. Monday will be a day of mourning. But currently, our priority is extracting all survivors from the site, and put out the fires. Very capable professionals are handling the situation. I urge all San Franciscans to not come down to the Mission district until we can guarantee everyone's safety."

Both fire chief McNamara and police chief Spade stated that a gas explosion is the most plausible cause of the calamity at this point. The CEO of Bay Area Utilities, owner of the local gas transportation network, was at time of writing unavailable for comment.

October 15 2016 12:01:18

The SFPD, led by detective Frank Kohanek, performed an investigation of the Church of St. Gregory today, following implications of the institutions involvement in the SF General massacre, last week. Several teams of law enforcement officers were seen entering the building of the Gregorites, earlier today.

Detective Kohanek has this to say: "We have strong evidence that the Church has played a role in the recent atrocities in the city, culminating in the events at General. The SFPD is following up on any lead that can bring us closer to finding those responsible. "

The Church of St. Gregory responds to the allegations through spokesperson Roy Dobbs. "I assure you, we are as dedicated as the police - and the people of San Francisco - to apprehend and punish those behind wicked deeds. The law enforcement officers have our full cooperation during their investigation. If we can in any way expedite the investigation, we will certainly do so. "

After several hours, the police teams left the scene. The results of the investigation have not yet been made public. Kohanek states that it is too early to comment on the findings.

October 08 2016 00:00:00

San Francisco General Hospital was the scene of a brutal terrorist attack tonight. A group of people forced their way into the building, and left a trail of destruction and death as they made their way to down the halls. The hospital states the attack left no survivors in the coma ward. Additionally, the group left a multitude of fatalities and wounded in their wake.
Police on the scene confirms the statements made by the hospital, and states that the situation in the hospital has been neutralized. First responders are on the scene, and are tending to the casualties along with Hospital employees.
Regarding the motive behind this heinous attack, police chief McDaniel stated: “We have not managed to make any arrests yet, but I assure you every resource the SFPD has at its disposal is being tapped to find those responsible, and bring them to justice. “
Rumors state that the group of terrorists is linked to the Church of St. Gregory, indicated by several markings the perpetrators left at the scene. At this point, neither the police nor the hospital wished to comment or speculate on this.

August 23 2016 17:18:30

Several blocks of the Inner Mission District were evacuated last night, as fires that had erupted in nearby condemned blocks threatened to consume more San Franciscan dwellings. The blaze was contained before it could spread further, but the buildings it originated from have been mostly leveled.
Fire chief McLaughlin commented: "Although investigations are ongoing, we do not rule out arson as this point, and we ask anyone who has any leads with regards to this tragedy to report to their local law enforcement. "

The incinerated blocks were condemned and set to be demolished under the new inner city gentrification plans, and were known to house squatters, drug addicts and other less fortunate souls.
Police chief Redding commented on the scene: " We have found dozens of bodies between the rubble, but the search is ongoing. To our horror, we have found evidence of both barring of escape routes, arson, and certain runes spray painted on the doors. We urge anyone with information to come forward. "

The symbols the police chief mentioned bare an uncanny resemblance to the Seal of St. Gregory. On behalf of the congregation, PR-spokesperson Roy Dobbs commented: " We are shocked in the face of these tragic events, and horrified at the use of our Seal at the site of these atrocities. We will work with law enforcement, and local authorities and charities to care for those in need, and work toward healing the deep wounds these events have inflicted upon a peaceful and benevolent community. "

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